Rainbow Stickers and Unicorns
Yoga isn’t all rainbow stickers and unicorns.
You see, there are two ways you know yoga is working in your life. The first is you feel calmer, less stressed, maybe more at peace. Your physical body begins to astound you with all it can do as it gets stronger and more flexible. During this stage yoga is exciting and fun! You are in for the long haul with this new love of your life.
And then. The OTHER way you know yoga is working in your life. The one you don’t see pictures of on Instagram and no one creating events about on FB. Here it is:
You know yoga is working in your life when it pisses you the F*** off.
For real. You want to throw rocks in class. Or scream, “I hate you!” at your teacher. Or run for the hills, never looking back. Or you dash to your car and sob uncontrollably all the way home for what seems to be no reason at all.
There, right there, is where the unicorns fly away and all you’re left with is your bad self. Or sad self. Or angry self. Or not as strong as you thought self. Or your tired self.
And it is just so easy to blame yoga. Or the teacher, damn her for being so sanctimonious, so seemingly perfect, for making you do the poses you hate….she does’t know you anyway!
I have been there. With all of those feelings. And the thing is, I keep coming back. For lots of reasons.
First, when a pose is hard I realize it’s the pose I need. It can be as simple (not easy) as chair pose showing me my upper back could use some strengthening attention.
Second, when I don’t want to hang out in any posture for more than a breath or two it’s my mind that needs practice being focused or calm or non-attached.
Third is the really big one. The first two are more outer layer stuff, things we can get a grasp on. But this one is more subtle. It’s when I get the uncontrollable sobs, or want nothing to do with my teacher, or actually say to her, “I had hate during that class.” Yeah. No more rainbow stickers there. At first.
But this is deep stuff. Yoga at it’s finest, clearing out that old emotion I’ve been holding on to. And it feels so good to clean house. My house, my heart, my soul, the ache in my belly. This is where true, deep, living life at a more fulfilling and satisfying level comes from.
Cause if we can feel those old yucky emotions so strongly and fully instead of shoving them down and numbing them out, then we can feel the good stuff more fully, too.
Love. Joy. Satisfaction. Abundance. Deliciousness of life.
So if the unicorns have left your yoga practice and you’re all out of rainbow stickers, know this for sure: yoga is absolutely working for you. And those unicorns, they come back even more sparkly and rainbow-y than before.
Hang in there, sweet sister.
If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please comment below, Like, Share, Pin and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy MA. Ed, E-RYT500
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