I’m Crying Therefore My Teacher Rocks

Feb 28, 2012

Yes, you read that correctly and it is absolutely true. I have been crying a lot this month. Sometimes just some tears welling up for a moment, other times a deep, sobbing ugly cry that lasts for hours. This is a GOOD thing. Know that I say this will love and true respect, it’s all my teacher’s fault.

Ok, not really. Well, sort of. Here’s the thing, I love my teacher because she’s tough, she’s good, she’s wise and intuitive, and she knows me.

I am not enrolled in the Yoga Works 300 Hour Professional Teacher Program to jump through hoops, earn gold stars, and get patted on the back for doing a good job. That’s how I earned most of the many letters that come after my name. I’m in it to learn and grow.

I’m in it to become a better me, a better wife, a better pet mama, a better teacher and a better Queen Flirt.

All of these betters require me to grow, get out of my comfort zone and out of my own way. And doing that is tough! I’m having a lot of growing pains right now, and they make me cry.

My heart hurts with unexpressed grief – some from long ago and some from not so long ago – and sadness at letting some students down which feels more like I let myself down. Carrying around old grief and sadness has caused me to put up certain walls and defenses around my heart.

My fabulous teacher, who by the way, loves me too and only wants to help me learn and grow, in her own way pointed out that those protective barriers around my heart can at times make me appear stand-offish and difficult to approach. Hearing that was heartbreaking and also the best news ever.

Yes, good news. Here’s why: now I can examine myself and my heart, release things that need to be released and move forward towards being more warm, open, loving and compassionate.

My teacher knows me well enough to know that the academic portion of this training program is not an issue. I’m the student who does her homework early, who turns a paragraph into a page, and makes flashcards not because I have to but because I really want to be sure to remember the terms correctly.

She also knows I can use a swift kick in the emotional and spiritual butt! And I am ever so grateful to her for doing just that.

So you see, I’m crying a lot and my teacher rocks!

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

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