This is HUGE.

Here’s why it’s huge not only for me but also for you.

I have had a long held, very deep belief, in yoga known as a samaskara, that I could not sing. I knew this to be true, for what felt like my entire life.

The first real memory I have of being told “You can’t sing” was when I was in junior high, so around 11 or 12 years old. I wanted to join chorus instead of orchestra. I had played the violin since I was in second grade and figured I would learn to sing in chorus like I learned to play the violin in orchestra. Then I would be able to do both!

Instead I was told, you can’t be in chorus because you can’t sing. And just like that the belief was set. You can’t sing and you can’t learn how, that is just how it is.

And so, over the next 30 years this thought and belief manifested into actions – blushing, apologizing, voice cracking, squeaking and shaking, throat tightening – any time singing in a group setting came up.

Grateful to be with Suzanne!

Flash forward 30 years to just a few days ago. An incredibly inspiring yoga teacher, Suzanne Sterling, taught The Art of the Voice as a part of the 300 Hour Professional Yoga Teacher Program I’m taking. After some informative and comforting instruction, we got ready to sing.

Amazing thing number 1: after showing us how to relax our throats and where and how to breathe, we simply sang “Aaaaahhhhhh”. And all 30 of us held this note for so long we couldn’t believe it was coming out of us!! The more I relaxed into it, the easier it was to keep going and going and going…..I finally understood how singers hold those loooooooong notes. And it felt really cool.

Amazing thing number 2: we combined our voices in the sounds of “Ooooohhhh” and “Aaaaaahhhhh” as high and as low as we felt inspired to as Suzanne played the harmonium. It felt safe to play and experiment with my voice inside the beautiful combination of all the other voices. I remembered the relaxed feeling from amazing thing number 1 and just went for it. Up and down, completely calm and at peace.

Within a few moments a delicious feeling spread throughout my body as I realized, “I’m singing!” For real. I knew in that moment and for the first time in my life this is what singing feels like. My own song resonated in my head and body and it was beautiful.

Instantly following that feeling and thought came this, “They were WRONG.” Followed by a brief but intense wave of grief and tears. I had spent the last 30 years living something that wasn’t true. Which was then followed by the most delightful, uplifting and exciting thought of them all, “If they were wrong about this, what else were they wrong about?”

And that is what I’m most excited to live and explore now – “What else were they wrong about?” “What beliefs and samskaras do I have now that I might shed later?” “Where else will life delight and surprise me as truth unfolds?”

How much richer, fuller, more beautiful, blissful and fulfilling can our lives be when we relax into our song instead of resist it?

Gently, kindly and with compassion look at some of your own “cant’s” and consider the wonderful possibility that all along you really could and can.

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

I love you.

You are magic. You heal. You nourish. You transform.

Like the sun, you unconditionally and ceaselessly shine your light and give your warmth to any and all who choose to turn their faces to you.

You are never ending and have enough for everyone.

I am forever in awe, filled with humility and deeply appreciative of all that you have to offer.

Love and Namaste,
Cathy

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

Here are the top 5 BEST things about Yoga Flirt (according to the Queen).

5. Fun, Fun, Fun
We all know we need to exercise to be healthy. It might as well be smile and even laughter-inducing. From the playful floor warm-up to flying around the pole to the fact that 6″ stilettos are your work-out shoes, there is always a reason to smile and celebrate. When was the last time your classmates at spin class applauded and cheered you on for your efforts?

4. Smokin’ Guns
Yep, the Michelle Obama arms are yours to be had. The longer your practice Yoga Flirt, the more you will notice strength developing in your biceps, triceps and shoulders. Plus, your abs. And while most pole studios stop with the strengthening at those two main areas, Yoga Flirt also ensures that your body is balanced and strengthens your legs as well. One day you’ll want to hang on a pole by just a bit of inner thigh or ankle and you need strong legs to do that!

3. Structure=Success
I’ve heard from former students who have moved away that take classes at other studios and what they miss the most is Yoga Flirt’s systematic approach to success. Either they are left to “do whatever you can” or they are given progressively more challenging moves until they find their edge and there is no practice on prerequisite skills to further their practice or there is no focus on balancing strength in the body, so the strong side gets stronger and the less dominant side is left alone. Yoga Flirt’s progression through each level prepares and delights students as they are safely able to accomplish moves that even just 8 weeks before may not have been possible. We honor that pole fitness in an on-going journey, an unfolding of delights, not a rush to the biggest-most-exciting moves that could lead to injury.

2. Strength Part 2
Flirts develop an inner strength that can best be described as owning, knowing and living your own self-worth. There is a deep knowing of our own worthiness. We deserve class time. We deserve kind and honest communication. We are worthy of quality family time, alone time, work time, etc. We can allow ourselves to live with joy and the more we do that, the more everyone in our lives benefits.

1. It’ all about Love
I recently had a Facebook conversation with a Flirt that went something like this: Me: “You’re so awesome” Her: “No, you’re so awesome” Flirt #3: “You’re both so awesome” Flirt #4:”I agree with Flirt #3″ Flirt #5:” I agree with everyone” And so on.

Sometimes newer Flirts feel that only their class is a place of non-judgement, acceptance of who and how they are, a place where encouragement and support is free flowing. Flirts who not only attend their own class, but also Open Pole, Strength Class, and special events quickly discover the entire Flirt community is just as warm, loving, embracing and accepting. Newer Flirts are our favorites – we all started at the beginning and know what it feels like to only know a few moves, to still feel a bit awkward and a little in awe of on-going students.

There is a deep and profound sense of community and respect among all Flirts that is evident even outside the studio. When Flirts run into each other outside the studio, they say they know one another from yoga, honoring each others’ choice to share or not share what type of yoga they practice.

Friendships and bonds form between women of all ages from 18 to 55+, from all types of backgrounds and life styles – students, mothers, business women, self-employed, retired, unsure what’s next, etc. – simply because Yoga Flirt is not just a pole fitness practice, it is a life style practice teaches that life is really all about love.

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

I won’t bore you with the details, but from listening to a dear, soul-mate of a friend discuss her own experiences with co-dependency and a particularly uncomfortable but eye-opening situation 2 huge things happened that shifted my life in the best way possible.

1. I readily admitted that I had been raised to be co-dependent and that it was no one’s fault.

2. I decided I didn’t want to be that way any more.

And KA-BOOM – just like that the change had been made and I was no longer co-dependent. You see, the moment you truly decide something and believe it to be true it already is. The internal shift has happened.

The only thing left to do is allow time for the shift to manifest in your external life.

For me that meant learning what behaviors were co-dependent and then replacing them with healthier ways of being. Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie was extremely helpful with that process. And since I had decided this new way of being was who I was, it was easy and fast. In less than 8 weeks I had shifted my thought and behavior patterns and over the next few months they became so natural I didn’t have to really even think about it anymore.

The truth is this: change is possible and easy. All that is required of you is to decide. And then allow time to show you the results.

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

I could say “F*** that”. I am not going down that overgrown, untended, scary, tangled path. I will choose the comfortable, familiar path and maintain the status quo, even as it has parts that make me uncomfortable.

I stood there an looked.

And then.

I grabbed a flashlight and the tools I would need to traverse safely in unfamiliar territory. And I courageously set out onto the path of my discomfort zone.

And that has made all the difference.

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

Thank you cancer, for the following lessons you have taught me.

1. Tell the people you love that you love them. A lot. As in every day or more than once a day whenever possible.
2. Tell the people who matter to you that they matter. AND tell them why. Tell them exactly what it is that they do or say that has made a difference in your life.
3. Hug often and generously.
4. Smile and let your eyes light up every time you see someone you care about.
5. Love and cherish imperfections, for those are really the perfections and the things you’ll miss once someone is gone.

And so, dear cancer, now that I have learned your lessons you are free to move along. I don’t need you in my life anymore.

With love and gratitude,
Cathy

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

Ok, not really. Well, sort of. Here’s the thing, I love my teacher because she’s tough, she’s good, she’s wise and intuitive, and she knows me.

I am not enrolled in the Yoga Works 300 Hour Professional Teacher Program to jump through hoops, earn gold stars, and get patted on the back for doing a good job. That’s how I earned most of the many letters that come after my name. I’m in it to learn and grow.

I’m in it to become a better me, a better wife, a better pet mama, a better teacher and a better Queen Flirt.

All of these betters require me to grow, get out of my comfort zone and out of my own way. And doing that is tough! I’m having a lot of growing pains right now, and they make me cry.

My heart hurts with unexpressed grief – some from long ago and some from not so long ago – and sadness at letting some students down which feels more like I let myself down. Carrying around old grief and sadness has caused me to put up certain walls and defenses around my heart.

My fabulous teacher, who by the way, loves me too and only wants to help me learn and grow, in her own way pointed out that those protective barriers around my heart can at times make me appear stand-offish and difficult to approach. Hearing that was heartbreaking and also the best news ever.

Yes, good news. Here’s why: now I can examine myself and my heart, release things that need to be released and move forward towards being more warm, open, loving and compassionate.

My teacher knows me well enough to know that the academic portion of this training program is not an issue. I’m the student who does her homework early, who turns a paragraph into a page, and makes flashcards not because I have to but because I really want to be sure to remember the terms correctly.

She also knows I can use a swift kick in the emotional and spiritual butt! And I am ever so grateful to her for doing just that.

So you see, I’m crying a lot and my teacher rocks!

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

In 1997 I was 26 years old. I was done with college – twice – and really not all that into myself. You see, the only thing I was taught that I was valuable for was good grades. A’s & B’s earned me great praise and they were how I knew I was “good”. So, no longer in school I had nothing about myself that I thought was worthy.

At that time I practiced yoga once or twice a week. One day in class, right as class was beginning, the instructor asked us to set an intention. I had no idea how to do that or what I was really supposed to do. But bubbling up from my belly, my heart and into my throat came my intention.

I want to love myself.

It felt right. I set that as my intention and then went on about class and life, not really thinking about it until the next time I was in a class where we were asked to set an intention. And then I set the intention again, I want to love myself.

I did that over and over, for around 2 years or so. Even when an instructor would ask us to set an intention for something else, say world peace or something, my mind would say, “No, I want to love myself.”

Now, that might seem selfish, to want to love myself over world peace. But here’s the thing, we can’t have world peace or even love each other if we don’t first love ourselves. I knew that one day I wanted to be in a healthy, loving relationship and I couldn’t expect someone to love me without me loving me. So I kept asking.

I want to love myself.

Slowly, over those next few years I began to see myself as worthy of my own love. For example, I love ice cream but back then I would have beaten myself up over having or even wanting some, because ice cream was bad/fattening/indulgent. I began to see that loving ice cream is one of the things that makes me me and that by treating myself to it from time to time was a way to show myself love.

Here’s what I know now that I didn’t know then. The intention worked because it came from a place of feeling rather than thinking and it was a positive. I didn’t think, “I want to love myself and I’ll do it when I don’t have short, chubby legs.” I simply felt that I wanted to love myself.

If you’d like to try setting an intention keep that in mind, for it to be a simple, positive. Say you’d like to be more patient with your children. Simply say that. Rather than “I’d like my kids to not be so wild at bed time so that then I can have more patience”. Simply set your intention to yourself, I am more patient with my children. Or whatever it is your heart desires.

I’m very passionate about yoga’s power of transformation, simply because I have experienced it. I am also a little shy about it because it was and still is so personal. I’m always excited to talk with you about it and answer your questions, feel free to reach out and connect!

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

I was discussing with my hubby last night and telling him how my transformation is so remarkable. I think it started out forced – like I made myself find gratitude in situations where maybe I’d normally not and then over time it just took hold and became a way of being.

Last week I scraped up the side of my car on a stump.

The night it happened instead of freaking out, I kept thinking how I was grateful I didn’t get hurt – how the scratched up car was really not that big a deal since I was ok.

I thought it was just a few scratches, but noticed over the weekend that my tire was tilted funny. So I took the car in today.

At first the mechanic said he thought I’d bent the axle. He told me I should file an insurance claim because it would definitely exceed my $500 deductible. Not good news. Then after they got the car up and took the tires off it turned out the alignment was just messed up – an $89 fix.

I left the tire shop with a huge smile on my face. I kept thinking how lucky I was. I was bursting with gratitude that I hadn’t done more damage and that my car wasn’t going to be in the shop for days.

So tonight when I showed up to class we were discussing gratitude – what a coincidence.

I started thinking how a couple years ago this whole incident would have had me turned upside down, pissed off and left me feeling like a victim and probably mad as heck at having to fork over $89 for my mistake. Instead today I felt GRATEFUL!!!

Anyways, just wanted to say thank you for the bits of wisdom you pass on and share with us. I have truly taken them to heart and implemented them in my life and what a change it has made. THANK YOU!!

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy

First of all, my mouth was wide open in amazement! Not even two years ago that information would have needed to be transferred manually and it would have taken a bit of time. And that got me thinking about how much time is compressed now.

My journey from an empty bucket to one that overflows has taken 15 years and is still in process, as evidenced by my being enrolled in continuing Teacher Training.

I wonder how this speeded up version of life is affecting our understanding of time and transformation, especially for younger people. How many of us remember the time to took to dial a rotary phone? Or, recall the time before voice mail or even answering machines when if the person you were calling wasn’t home, you had to wait to speak with them. Hours. Or even days. And that was fine.

I wonder how this compression of time will affect our yoga practice. When I say to a student, “Give it some time” I’m concerned they think come back next week and it will all make sense or a pose will happen for them.

In a yoga and pole practice, when I say give it some time, I don’t mean a few days or a few weeks.

I mean t – i – m – e.

In a rare instance that may mean 6 to 12 months. But more often it means years. As in, let it take years for this or that thing to happen.

I thought I would give you a couple of examples from my own path, just of physical asana or pole move type things, that have taken years. I sometimes think when others see me do a move or a pose with precision and grace that they think I just sprang forth into the world with that capability. I didn’t, you just didn’t know me 15 years ago.

– Touch my toes in a seated or standing forward fold: 2 years, now I can do so in 6″ stilettos
– Bakasana: 2 years
– Parsva Bakasana: 4 years
– Sirsasana comfortably without the aid of a wall: 10 years

– Inverted Straddle: 5 years
– Fallback without a spot: 6 years
– Shoulder Mount: 6 years
– Cartwheel Mount: first attempt was when I had been practicing pole about 5 years, then 6 months of dedicated practice, 3 times a week

Years in the making!

Up next in the Empty Bucket story: Emotional intentions and time

If you enjoyed or were inspired by what you read, please Like, Share, and Tweet. With Gratitude, Cathy